Eyeing the Knot

16 11 2009

The following is stolen from Eric’s blog. I liked it, and it sure beats that horrible video I just watched for the first time.  (note:  don’t post videos to your blog before previewing them for off-color humor and crass remarks.)

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This week I did something I haven’t done in years: I wore a tie. The last time I did this was (if I remember correctly) at my friend Bryan’s wedding. I don’t count my wedding because, as my groomsmen can attest, Men’s Wearhouse gives you some sort of hybrid, slip-on tie.

I don’t particularly enjoy wearing ties. Sure, at times they do afford you a certain level of sophistication that can make you feel a lot cooler than you probably are, but they make me uncomfortably aware that there is something tied around my neck reminiscent of a leash. This is the first of a laundry list of grievances I have with ties. They also get in your way while washing your hands, visiting a urinal, brushing your teeth, and if there’s any wind at all. They can become ensnared in car doors, bushes/any sort of decorative floral arrangement, or the hands of small children or potential assailants. They also make me warmer than I care to be. They can be tricky to tie and take up precious time while you’re getting ready, even if you know what you’re doing.

I don’t know why anyone would decide that a long piece of cloth around his neck is a good idea. It’s actually a brilliant piece of marketing. A quick Wikipedia search revealed that the necktie has its roots in the Thirty Years War when the French thought that some of the clothes of the Croatians were wearing were quite fetching. I lost interest after that, although I did go on to learn that I hope to someday sport an ascot. This would be mostly for the shock value, and what I’m guessing will be an increased chance of being handed a glass of warm brandy in front of a roaring fire in some lavish lounge. It also seems a safer and more comfortable option to dress up ones neck…