Traveling in Style

28 06 2010

So I’m going to D.C. this weekend.  It’s going to be fun, it’s going to be incredibly muggy (I’m sure), and it’s going to be awesome to see a buddy I haven’t for a while.

As with all trips, however, the main question isn’t about what to do once I’m there.  We grew up together, and we’ve never really had a problem finding things to do, whether it was riding our bikes into the bay muck (ill-advised) or having full-blown Nerf wars (still advised) in the gas chamber.  So to speak.

No, the question is about getting there.  What do I do, what do I wear, and how do I become one of those people that you want to sit next to on an airplane?  Personally, I love flying.  Give me a good book and some headphones, and I’ll sit in a coach aisle seat for hours on end without complaining.  Keeping myself happy is not an issue, but traveling should be (on some level, at least) a communal experience.  Swapping entertaining stories with a seat buddy can be a great way to spend a trip, especially if they are one of those people you want to sit next to on an airplane.

Since I can’t really control whom I sit next to, I’ll have to settle for controlling my atmosphere.  I believe in dressing well for shared transit (no one wants to sit next to the hairy old guy in the tank top) and airplanes most of all.  Not only do you feel important (and increase your chances of being given free pilot’s wings by the stewarde– excuse me, flight attendant — but you also get quizzical looks from your fellow passengers as they wonder where that ever so dapper young man could be traveling.  France?   French Guiana?  The Franco-Prussian War museum?

Above all, however, one simply must have something that will make you stand out.  Why is this?  Simple:  You want people to remember you in case you tackle an underpants bomber.  Usually this isn’t a problem, but nowadays, one can’t be careful.  Who’s to say that you won’t emerge from the pile of bomber, flammable underwear and heroism only to find yourself shoved aside as some obnoxious guy in a San Francisco Giants Hawaiian shirt takes the credit for your deeds?  No sir, you have to make sure people will instantly recognize you, standing off to the side, dazed and confused, so they can look into the news camera and proudly say:

“Yeah, I saw him stop the guy.  He was wearing a huge blue cowboy hat and a Ronald Reagan tank top.”

Raising the Bar for Anti-Corporate Protest Songs by People Who Have Suffered Losses at Their Hands

9 07 2009

According to this, United has, after seeing the video, decided to remunerate the dude for his loss.