But if you must go, then please don’t come back

2 08 2008

The entropy in the world has become incredibly palpable in the last couple of weeks; I was recounting some of the moments of my childhood with one of my friends, Nathaniel, and we came to a supposition:

The good has to pass away lest we become enamored with it at the expense of the great.

For the great is rarely seen at will; it reveals itself in the most unexpected instances. When it does, our response to it is unfettered and instinctive: it reveals our souls.

I have often been criticized for refusing to let my heart/soul/gut react without first filtering my response.

But I really hope that what some perceive as a reticence to be emotionally honest might actually be a desire to be truly honest. A desire to react to what is real, and not to what is fleeting. It is not difficult to act upon the whims of the body; it is extremely difficult to discern between whims and desires. For God does not instill in us whims, but yearning for the Good, the True and the Beautiful. I want to see those yearnings for what they are. Stumbling blindly among my desires until my flesh happens to coincide with my soul is as undesirable a thing as I can imagine; the disagreement from the more impulsive types rings loudly in my ears, but I pay it little heed. To risk a bit of asceticism for the sake of righteousness seems a far better fate than to steep myself in desire while my sinful body rules my actions.

Y’know, because it’s a simple dichotomy. Right?

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